forgive me for this...

forgive me for this, but love is like smoking. a dirty vile habit that is a bitch to kick. just when you decide to quit, that's when you want to hang on the most. the last cigarette is never the last cigarette, and there is never one last day you're in love with someone. some days you don't even think about smoking. others, you feel like half a pack just won't cut it. just like the days you might forget completely about your ex, and there are others you're plagued by billboards of his image (or the Marlboro man) on every building and every other song or phrase has to do with a memory you shared. there are days when you feel like there couldn't be any more better possibilities for you, and there are others where you swear you've lost the one. there are days you want to quit, and days you know you will always be trying, and days you just want what you love. at least you know that a pack of camel lights can be purchased for $4.68 at the nearest gas station. the love of your life isn't as easy to pick back up.

[september 4 2004]